A Sheriff's Tale

It started out like any normal day in Dudeland for Princess Sophia. She got up, did her make-up and had her daily kick-boxing training, as well as looking through the many movie scripts she had been sent for film people wanted her to star in.

Yes it was a good life for Sophia, but it hadn't been such fun recently for Sheriff George in Fort Thought. For around 2 weeks now he had been forced to live with The Pimp and Reginald in Fort Thought. Every morning for the past 2 weeks the Sheriff had woke up to hear Reginald and The Pimp arguing about things like jewellery and women.

Whenever Sheriff George tried to sit as usual on the roof of Fort Thought and have some nice peace and quiet as he looks over Dudeland, he would be disturbed by The Pimp and Reginald. Things were becoming too much for Sheriff George.

This morning was just as usual for the Sheriff; he woke up, had breakfast, and headed up to the roof of Fort Though to look over Dudeland. As he sat down in his chair Dan came running over.

"Sheriff George, Captain Birdseye has pulled into the Dudeland Docks to unload his latest delivery of Fish Fingers. We need you to come and sign for them and make sure everything goes down smoothly" said Dan.

"Ok, I'll be down in a minute" said the Sheriff. He turned round and The Pimp and Reginald had been standing behind him watching them.

"Captain Birdseye!?" asked The Pimp. "Isn't he the meanest captain on the Seven Seas? I hear he rides a ship called the Black Pear and keeps little children locked up to row it for him." The Pimp said seeming very interested in the matter. "If it's the same Captain Birdseye, me and Reginald are coming with you to give that Captain a peace of our minds."

Sheriff George didn't seem too happy about hearing this but agreed to it. "Alright you can come with me, but don't touch the Captain. He won't bother you if you don't bother him."

So Sheriff George jumped off the roof of Fort Thought wicked Cowboy styley to land on his horse 'Old Hickory'. However, the horse wasn't there as The Pimp and Reginald were already on it.

"Cummon Sheriff, what are you doing on the ground?" asked The Pimp as the Sheriff picked himself up off the gound and brushed himself off. He picked up his hat and put it on but as he did it was snatched back off his head by Reginald who put it on his own head and he and The Pimp rode off towards the docks.

So without his horse the Sheriff had to walk to the docks, a good three mile walk to the edge of Dudeland. There he found The Pimp and Reginald had pinned Captain Birdseye to the ground and were telling him to free the children.

"Stop it!" shouted Sheriff George as he pulled The Pimp and Reginald off the Captain, and took back his hat from Reginald. "I'm sorry Captain. Where are the fish fingers?" asked Sheriff George.

"You think after that I would give you the fish fingers? Well you're sadly mistaken Sheriff!" screamed the Captain. He then cut a rope on his boat and a door swung open, and a bunch of kids came charging out and ran into Dudeland. "Dudeland will be ours!" said the Captain as he followed his minions into Dudeland.

Sheriff George looked at Reginald and The Pimp with an angry look on his face and began closing in on them as they backed up nervously.

"You just cost us hundreds and thousands of fish fingers" said Sheriff George.

"At least he freed the kids" said The Pimp desperately searching for a silver lining.

Just as it looked as though Sheriff George was gonna open up a can of whoopass on these two punks he heard a scream that sounded like it was coming from Princess Sophia. Sheriff George jumped onto Old Hickory and rode off in the direction of the scream.

He eventually found Princess Sophia on the back of her Unicorn 'Thunder Bolt' fending off all the kids as a maniacal Captain Birdseye stood on top of Fort Thought directing their attack on the Princess.

The Sheriff rode through the pack of kids and seeing that Sophia could handle herself against Captain Birdseye's peeps, he focused his attention on the Captain himself.

He rode through Fort Thought on the back of Old Hickory. (NB. Kinda like how Arnold Schwarzenegger rides a horse through a building in True Lies) and reached the top of Fort Thought where he battled it out with Captain Birdseye.

Suddenly the Captain whipped out a frozen Fish Finger and threw it at the Sheriff. Sheriff George caught it though and tossed it right back at Captain Birdseye.

"Nice Fish Finger, wouldn't you agree Sheriff George?" he said maniacally before throwing it back. With cat like reflexes Sheriff George caught it and threw it back. It hit Captain Birdseye in the head and as he stumbled backwards he fell over the edge of Fort Thought. The children turned their attention away from Sophia and gathered around their fallen leader. Sheriff George quickly lassoed them all with his rope and with them all tied p he threw them back in their boat at the docks and sent them away, after taking the Fish Fingers of course.

"We must hurry back to the Palace for our party" said Princess Sophia to Sheriff George.

"What party?" asked the Sheriff, confused.

"My election party" said Sophia. "I am running for President of the Universe again Trampy Lucy" she said, and they all rode back to the palace in a hurry to hear the results of the election.

After all the electoral votes had been counted it was all even, and one place was left to have its vote counted. Whoever was voted by that certain place would be president of the Universe. That place just happened to be...Dudeland. And of course the vote went to Princess Sophia by one vote.

In an interview with Trampy Lucy she said that it didn't matter that she hadn't won because she now had a lot on her plate anyway. She had just got a new job as a wedding planner, where she had a lot of great ideas for newspaper weddings, where everything down to the dress would be made of newspaper, as that is all she could afford.

Not only that, but she said she would be training for the Olympics. She was aiming to win the gold medal for Pot Noodle eating at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, which she had to get ready for.

Back in Dudeland everybody was partying it up and Sheriff George was talking to Sophia about who could have made the last vote that gave her the one vote win in Dudeland.

"It was I" said an evil and creepy voice from the shadows. It was Johnny Total. "I made that vote because with Princess Sophia out ruling the universe, you Sheriff George will be all alone in charge of Dudeland and then I Johnny Total will over throw you and come ruler of Dudeland" he said as a he cackled.

"No you won't" said Sheriff George plain and simply.

"Oh" said Johnny Total. "Well this is awkward".

He then quietly sneaked back into the shadows and as Sheriff George began speaking to Princess Sophia again a flash of light came from the shadows where Johnny Total had gone and he came running out of the shadows and ran out of the door and into the night shouting the words "What a scoop".

But tonight wasn't a night for Sheriff George, or anybody for that matter, to chase the bad guys, tonight was a night for celebration. So people chowed down on the pile of Fish Fingers long into the night at the palace of Princess Sophia!